Madagascar (2005)/Transcript
Chapter 1 Surprise! Alex! Do not interrupt me when I'm daydreaming! When the zebra's in the zone, leave him alone. Come on Marty, just wanted to wish you a happy birthday! Hey man, thanks. I got something stuck in my teeth. It's driving me crazy! Can you help me out here? Please? You came to the right place, my friend. Doctor Marty D.D.S. is in the house! Please hop on top of my sterilized examination table, if you may. I don't see anything. It's on the left. Okay, just don't talk with your mouth full. Aha.. Right in here. What a hack is this doing in there? Happy Birthday! Awww.. Hey.. Thanks man. It was behind the tooth! You're all right. These aren't on the shelf yet. Here, check it out. Look at that. Ooh.. look at that. Look at that, it's snowing. Ten years old, huh? A decade! Double digits. A big 1-O. You don't like it? No, no. It's great! You hate it. I shoulda gotten you the Alex alarm clock. That's the one, that's the big seller. No, no. The present is great, really. It's just that another year's come and gone and I'm still doing the same old thing. Stand over here, trot over there. Eat some grass. Walk back over here. I see your problem. Maybe I should go to law school. You just need to break out of that boring routine. How? Throw out the old that, get out there, who knows what you're gonna do! Make it up as you go along! Ad lib, improvise, on the fire! Boom,boom,boom.. Really? You know, make it fresh! Fresh? Okay. I could do fresh. Works for me. CENTRAL PARK ZOO Here come the people Marty. Oh, I love the people! It's fun people fun time! Let's go Gloria! Up and at 'em!Were open! What day is it? It's Friday! Field trip day. Yes, it's field trip day, let's... get up and go! I need.. Ten more minutes. Come on Melman, Melman, Melman! Wake up! Rise and shine! It's another fabulous morning in the Big Apple! Let's go! Not for me. I'm callin' in sick. What? I found another brown spot on my shoulder. Right here! See? Right there! You see? Melman, you know it's all in your head. Hm? Phil. Wake up, you filthy monkey. Oh I'm gonna be fresh. Straight out the ground. Tasty fresh. Freshelicious. Ziploc fresh! Ladies and gentlemen, children of all ages. The Central Park Zoo proudly presents... Show them the cat! Who's the cat! ...the King of New York city... Alex the Lion! It's showtime! Gather around people, big show about to start! Check out the Zebra takin' care of biz'... that's right! Chapter 2 Just smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave. Kowalski, target report. We're only 500 feet from the main sewer line. And the bad news? We've broken our last shovel. Right. Rico, you're on litter patrol. We need shovels and find more popsickle sticks. We don't want to risk another cave-in. And me, Skipper? I want you to look cute and cuddly, private. Today we're gonna blow this dump. Yeah! You don't see that on Animal Planet! Well show's over, folks! Thanks for coming! I hope you thought it was fresh! I'll be here all week. In fact, I'll be here for my whole life. 365 days a year, including Christmas, Hanukkah, Halloween, Kwanzaa. Please don't forget to never spay or neuter your pets. And tip your cabbie, because he's broke. You, quadruped. Sprechen Sie English? I sprechen. What continent is this? Manhattan. Hoover Dam! We're still in New York. Abort! Dive, dive, dive! Hey! You in the tux! Wait a minute! What are you guys doing? We're digging to Antarctica. Anhootica? Can you keep a secret, my monochromatic friend? Do you ever see any penguins running free around New York city? Of course not. We don't belong here, it's just not natural. This is all some kind of wacked out conspiracy. We're going to the wide open spaces of Antarctica. To the wild! The wild? You could actually go there? Sounds great... Hey! Hold up! Where is this place? Tell me where it is! You didn't see anything. Right? Yes, sir. Uhh. uhh.. Sorry. No, sir. .. for his final appearance of the day... .. the King of New York city.. Alex the Lion! Thank you! Thank you very much! You guys are great. You're great crowd. Give yourself a hand. Huh? Thank you. Thank you! Oh well, thank you! Awww.., that's too kind, too kind... Underpants! Everybody get home safe. Hey! Check out my Web site. Twenty-four hour Alex Cam. Watch me sleep. Chapter 3 This is the life. That's the spot. Oh, I'm in heaven. Whoo, It's Marty's birthday! Open it, just open it! What is it? What is it? Come on, open it up! Yeah! Thermometer! Thanks. I love it Melman, I love it! Yeah, I wanted to give you something personal. You know, that was my first rectal thermometer. Mother..! Happy birthday to you! You live in a zoo, You look like a monkey, And you smell like one too. I say... Aww.. well, now.. you guys are just embarrassing me.. and yourselves! What are you talking about? We've worked on that all week. Let's go, let's make a wish babycakes. Come on, what did you wish for? No, can't tell you that. Come on, tell! No sirrey, I'm telling you! It is bad luck! You want some bad luck? I'll blab it out, but if you wanna be safe... Ah, Marty would you just tell us? I mean really, what could happen? Okay. I wished, that I could go to the wild! The wild! Wow! I told you it was bad luck! The wild? Are you nuts? That is the worst idea, I've ever heard. It's unsanitary. The penguins are going, so why can't I? The penguins are psychotic. Come on! Just imagine going back to nature. Back to your roots, clean air, wide open spaces! Well I hear they have wide open spaces in Connecticut. Connecticut? Yeah, what you got to do is you gotta go over Grand Central. And then you gotta take the metro north train. North? So one could take the train? Just hypothetically. Marty, come on! What would Connecticut have to offer us? Lyme disease. Thank you, Melman. No, no, really I just wanna... You certainly don't have this in the wild, this is highly refined type of food thing, that you do not find in the wild. You ever thought it might be more to life, than steak.. Alex? He didn't mean that baby. No, no, no. Doesn't it bother you guys that you don't know anything about, life outside of this zoo? Na ahh... mm.. Nope. Well.. I mean.. Come on.. That's just one subject. You got a ah.. you got a little smutz right there on yer... Thanks guys. Thanks for the party. It was great! Really. What's eating him? Maybe you should talk to him, Alex. You know go off for there and get him a little pep talk. Hey, I don't get snow globe, I can't top that. Alex. I can see where this is going. It is getting late. I guess I'm gonna... Come on, he's your best friend. All right, all right. Okay. G'night Marty! .. night Gloria. Chapter 4 Aaahhh... What a day. I mean it just really, really I mean I tell you, just doesn't get any better than this, you know. It just did! Even the star's out. You're not gonna find a star like that in the wild. Helicopter. Marty, buddy, listen. Everybody has days when they think the grass might be greener somewhere else. Alex, look at me. I'm ten years old, my life is half over. And I don't even know if I'm black with white stripes or white with black stripes. Marty, I'm thinking of a song. Alex please, not now. Yes, it's a wonderful song. I think you're familiar with it. Oh no! I'm not listening. Start spreading the news... I don't know you. I'm leaving today... He's funny. Who is that? Come on, you know, you know the words. Two little words. New York. New York! Shut up! Shut up! Hey! I'm sleeping here! We're not all nocturnal you know! I'll knock yer "turnal" right off, pal! Yeah, you and what army, stripes? You mess with him, you mess with me, Howard! See? Mr. Grumpy Stripes. We make a great team. Two of us. We sure do. No doubt about it! What are you gonna do? Just go running off to the wild by yourself? No. Good. You and me! Let's go. What? The wild! Come on, you and me together! It's a straight shot down Fifth avenue to Grand Central. We'll grab a train, we'll head north! We'll be back by morning, no one will ever know! You're joking, right? Yeah! I'm joking, of course I'm joking! Give me a break! Like we're gonna get a train? Don't do that, you really had me worried there. Well, I guess I'll hit the sack. Yeah, me too. I'll need the rest of my voice for tomorrow. It's seniors day, you know. I have to roar extra loud. Give them a little jolt! You know what I'm talking about? Good night, alley Al. Arghhh.. They forgot to turn off the ambience again! Don't worry, that's cool. You know, I got it. Much better. Come on now baby. My little fillet. My little fillet mignon with a little fat around the edges, I like that. I like a little fat on my steak, my sweet juicy steak. You are a rare delicacy. Alex? Alex. Alex! What? You suck your thumb? What is it, Melman? Okay, okay. You know about the blood infection, and I have to get up every two hours. Well I got up to pee, and I looked over in Marty's pen, which I usually don't do, I don't know why but I did, and this time I looked over... What Melman, what's going on? It's Marty. He's gone. Gone? What do you mean, gone? How long he has been working on this? Marty? Marty? He wouldn't fit down there. Marty? Marty? Marty? This doesn't make any sense. Where would he go? Connecticut! He wouldn't. Oh no! What are we gonna do? We gotta, we gotta call somebody! Hello? Get the Missing Animals and hurry! We've got a lost Zebra, probably on the way to Connecticut by now, and we're gonna need... Hello? Hello? Wait a second. We can't call the people. They'll be really mad! They'll get Marty transferred for good! You don't bite the hand that feeds you. I know that's right. We gotta go after him. Go after him? He's not thinking straight. We gotta stop him from making the biggest mistake of his life! He's probably out there lost and cold. Confused. Poor little guy. Chapter 5 Melman, come on! You know, maybe one of us should wait here, in case he comes back. Oh no, not now. This is an intervention Melman, we all gotta go! What's the fastest way to Grand Central? You should take Lexington. Melman! Okay. We.. We should take Lexington. What about Park? No, Park goes two ways, you can't time the lights. I heard Tom Wolfe is speaking at Lincoln Center. Well of course we're going to throw a poo at him! I knew we should've taken Park. Are you sure this is the fastest way to Grand Central station? I don't know, that's what Melman said! Hey you guys! That room has some nifty little sinks you can wash up in, and look! Free mints! This isn't a field trip, Melman! This is an urgent mission to save Marty from throwing his life away! Now.. Where's the train? Ah! Here it comes. What did Marty say to you? I asked you to talk to him! I did!I did! I don't understand! He said: Let's go! And I said: What are you crazy? And he says: I'm ten years old! And then that he has black and white stripes... What you gotta do, is you go straight back down West 42nd. It's now on your left after Vanderbilt. You hit the Chrysler building, you've gone too far. Thanks a lot, officer. Hey! Wait for the light! Freak. Yeah, that's right. Zebra. Right in front of me. Can I shoot it? Negative. Than I'm gonna need some back up. Oh! Knicks lost again. Ahh.. What are you gonna do.. Did that just say "Grand Central Station" or "my aunt's constipation"? This is it! Grand Central Station! It's grand and it's central. Move aside.. This is an emergency situation! Don't panic! Chill out! It's not that big emergency. How do you like that! Lady, what is wrong with you? Ow! Get a grip on yourselves people! You're a bad kitty! Dagnabbit! I missed the express! Looks like I'm gonna have to take the Stamford local. I've got him!I've got him! He's got him! He's got him! He's got him! I got something for you! I'm okay, I'm okay. What are you guys doing here? Oh, I'm so glad we found you. We were so worrying about you! Don't worry, I'm fine, I'm fine. Look at me, I'm fine. You're fine? Oh, he's fine! Oh, great. Hey, you hear that, Marty's fine. That's good to know. Cause I was just wondering... How could you do this to us, Marty? I thought we were your friends! What's a big deal! I was gonna back in the morning! Don't you ever do this again. Do you hear me? Do you hear him? Guys, we're running out of time! Oh Melman, you broke their clock? Don't you ever ever do this again! Come here! We've been ratted out, boys. Cute and cuddly boys. Cute and cuddly. If you have any poo, fling it now! Chapter 6 It's the Man. Good evening, officers! No, no, no.. you don't talk now, okay? You're not so good with the putting the words together and their coming out, good thing. You can thss! Hey! How you're doing? Yeah! You know what, everything's cool, we just have a little situation here. Little internal situation. Actually my friend just went a little crazy. It happens to everybody. The city gets to us all. Just went a little cuckoo in the head. Hey! Don't be calling me cuckoo in the head! Just shush! I will handle this! I got him! Would you give a guy a break? We're just gonna take my little friend here home and forget this ever happened. All right? No harm, no foul. Oh, no, no, no. Hey, it's cool! It's me, Alex the lion.. From the Zoo. What's the matter with them? Wow! I feel really, really weird. Hey! I love you guys. I love you so much. Last night dramatic incident at Central Grand station was an example of animal rights whackos have been shouting for years... The animals clearly don't belong in captivity. Now they're to be sent back to their natural habitat, where they will live their lives in the freedom they so clearly desire. Hey, little help. He's awake! He's awake! Oh, man! Oh my head! Where? What? I'm in the box! Oh no! No no! Not the box! Oh no, they can't transfer me! Not me! I can't breathe. I can't breathe. Darkness creeping in. Can't breathe. I can't breathe! Walls closing in around me! So alone, so alone. Alex! Alex are you there? Marty? Yeah! Talk to me, buddy! Marty! You're here! What's going on? Are you okay? This doesn't look good, Marty. Alex? Marty? Is that you? Gloria! You're here too! I am loving the sound of your voice! What is going on? We're all in crates. Oh, no! Oh, sleeping just knocks me out. Melman! Is that Melman? Are you okay? Yeah, I'm fine. I often doze off while I'm getting an MRI. Melman, you're not getting an MRI. CAT scan? No! No CAT scan! It's a transfer! It's a zoo transfer! Zoo transfer! Oh, no. I can't be transferred, I have an appointment with doctor Goldberg at 5. Melman! There are prescriptions,that have to be filled. Calm down, Melman. No other zoo can afford my medical care! Melman! I am not going HMO. Take it easy Melman. It's gotta be okay, we are going to be okizey. No Marty, we're not gonna be okizey. Now because of you we're ruined! Because of me? I fail to see how this is my fault. You're kidding, right Marty? You! You ticked off the people! You bit the hand Marty, you bit the hand. I don't know who I am, I don't know who I am. I gotta go find myself in a wild! Hey! I did not ask you to come after me. Did I? He does have a point. What? I did say we should stay at the zoo, but you guys! Melman, just shut it! You're the one that suggested this whole idea to happen in the first place. Alex, leave Melman out of this please. Thank you, Gloria. Besides Alex, it is not my fault that we're transferred! Melman, shut it. Does anybody feel nauseous? I feel nauseous. Melman, you always feel nauseous. Chapter 7 SHIP TO KENYA WILDLIFE PRESERVE AFRICA. Progress report. It's an older code Skipper, I can't make it out. You, higher mammal. Can you read? No, Phil can read though. Phil! Ship to Kenya. Wildlife Preserve Africa! Africa. That ain't gonna fly. Rico! I was the star in the greatest city on earth! A King! Loved by my people! Let's just be simple! And you ruined everything! Love? If the people loved you, it's only because they didn't know the real you! Don't make me come up there, I'd get to woopin'on both of you all! I thought I knew the real you! Let's talk about this calm! Your black and white stripes,they cancel each other out. You are nothing! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Hey listen! You're gonna have to be patient! Status. It's no good, Skipper.. I don't know the codes! Don't give me excuses! Give me results! Navigation! All right, let me think. And shut him up! I did it! Let's get this tin can turn around! Guys? Gloria! Melman! Marty! Alex! Marty? Alex! Marty! No! Wait! Come back, Marty! Don't go. Marty? Melman? Gloria? Marty! Melman! Gloria! Marty! Melman! Gloria! Hey anyone! Hello! Chapter 8 Marty, Melman, Gloria. Marty, Melman, Marty. Marty, Melman, Gloria, Marty, Melman, Marty, Marty, Melman. Hey! Help! Get me out of this thing, somebody! Hello? Get me out of this thing right now! Hello? Somebody? Melman! Alex? Is that you? Melman, I got you! Hang on, hang on, I got you. Melman! I got you, buddy! Wait a second. Wait right there. Aha! Alex, what are you doing? I'm getting you out of the box! Relax. Alex? Giraffe corner pocket! Wait! Wait! Come on! Wait! Here goes nothing! Hold still! Wait! Wait! Wait! Hold still! No! Come on! Come on! Here I come! Look! Look! Look, look! It's Gloria! It's Gloria! Oh hey, it is Gloria. Gloria! Gloria! All righty boys, fun is over. Gloria! Alex! Marty? Marty! You know, I don't really have anything on me right now. I'll have to get you later. To you too! Marty! Marty! Alex! Marty! Alex! Marty! Al! Marty! Alex? Marty! Oh sugar, honey, ice tea. Marty! I'm gonna kill you! Hey! Hold on! Hold on! Look at us! We're all here together safe and sound. Yeah, here we are. Where exactly is here? San Diego. San Diego? White sandy beaches, cleverly simulated natural environment, wide open enclosures, I'm telling you this could be the San Diego zoo. Complete with fake rocks. Wow! That looks real. San Diego? What could be worse than San Diego? I don't know, this place is crack I like it! Oh, I could hang here, I could hang here. I'm gonna kill you, Marty! Take it easy! Take it easy! And then strangle you! Calm down! Then bury you,dig you up and clone you, and kill all your clones.. Twenty second time out? .. and then,I'll never talk to you again. Stop it! Look, We're just gonna find the people get checked in and have this mess straightened out! Oh great, this is just great. San Diego! Now I have to compete with Shamu and his smug little grin! I can't top that. Can't top it! I'm ruined! I'm gone! I'm out of the business! It's your fault, Marty! You've ruined me! Come on, Alex. Do you honestly think I intended all of this to happen? You want me to say that I'm sorry? Is that what you want? Okay, I'm... He just shushed me! Marty look, just gotta be just a little bit more... Shush! Don't you shush me! Do you hear that? Don't you hear that? Chapter 9 I hear it now! When there's music, there's people. We go right to the head honcho. A sidewalk would be nice. Yeah, what a dump! They should call it the San Di-Lame-O zoo! First they tell you hey! We gotta this great open plan thing. Let the animals run wild! Next thing you know... flowers in your hair, and everybody's hugging everybody. This place kind of grows on you! This way, guys! Come on! Oh, no! Okay, let's make a good impression on the people. Smiles everyone, let's get it together. Is that the best you can do, Melman? Oh, I'm not smiling, it's gas. Okay well great. Let's make gas look good. It's not people. It's animals! California animals! This is like a puppy party! I like to move it move it! I like to move it move it! You like to... Move it! I like to move it move it! I like to move it move it! I like to move it move it! You like to... Move it! I like to move it move it! You like to move it move it! She likes to move it move it! We like to... Move it! All girls all over the world! Original King Julian! What a girl's man! I love all them girls I love to move them body! When you move your body, you move it nice and sweet and sassy. What kind of zoo is this? I just saw 26 blatant health code violations. I'm loving San Diego, this place is off to the chizain! Twenty-seven! We should've brought chips and dip! Wait, where's Alex? What happened to him, he was right behind us. Were he right behind us? I don't know where he's at, but he's missing one hack of a party! The Foosa! The Foosa! The Foosa are attacking! I hate spider webs. Yeah, thanks a lot, guys. Thanks for waiting up. I really appreciate it. Hey hi. We just got in from New York and we're looking for a supervisor, because we've been sitting on that beach back there for hours. And nobody's even bothered to show up. I don't know how things normally run around here, but obviously there's been some sort of major screw up, which is cool. So if you just point us towards to the administrative offices, or just uh... Well, howdy do? Spider! Spider on my back! Maurice, did you see that? He scared the Foosa away. Get it! Get it! Get it! Where did he go? Where did he go? King Julian, what are they? What are they? They are aliens. Savage aliens from the savage future. They've come to kill us! And take our women! And our precious metals! Get up, Mort. Do not be near the King's feet, okay? Shh! We're hiding. Be quiet everyone. Including me. Shh! Who's making that noise? Oh, it's me again. Come on boys! Stop it! Enough! I think you got it. I thing she got it. Is it still on me? I hate spiders. That's okay, she's gone. They are savages! Tonight we die. The feet! I told you! Didn't I tell him about the feet? He did tell you about the feet. Wait. I have a plan! Really? I have devised a cunning test. To see whether these are savage killers. Chapter 10 No! Hi there! You let me handle it. Alex handles it. Marty does nothing. Hi there! Oh, sorry. No, no! Oh Alex, what did you do? Stop, stop. It's okay. It's okay. I'm just a silly, just a silly lion. Oh, you poor little baby, did that big mean lion scare you? He did? He's a big bad old puddy tad, isn't he? Come on, mama hold you. They are so cute from a reasonable distance. You're sweetest little thing, I just wanna dunk him in my coffee. They are just a bunch of pansies. I don't know, there's still something about that one with the crazy hairdo that I find suspicious. Nonsense, Maurice! Come on everybody! Let's go and meet the pansies! Presenting your royal highness our illustrious King Julian the 13 self proclaimed Lord of the Lemur etc. etc. Hurray everybody. He's got style! What's he like, King of the guinea pigs? I think it's a squirrel. Welcome, giant pansies! Please feel free to bask in my glow! Definitely a squirrel. Yep, a squirrel. We thank you with enormous gratitude for chasing away the Foosa. The Who-sa? The Foosa. They're always annoying us by trespassing, interrupting our parties, and ripping our limbs off. Yes, sounds good. Look, we're just We're just trying to find where the people are. Oh, my! What big teeth you have! Man! Shame on you, Maurice! Don't you see that you've insulted the freak? You must tell me, who the hack are you? I'm Alex. The Alex. And this is Gloria, Marty and Melman. And just where are you giants from? We're from New York and we... All hail the New York Giants! New York Giants! What are we doing, some sort of inbreeding program? I say we just gotta ask these bozos where the people are. Excuse me, we bozos have the people of course. Hey, the bozos have the people! Oh. Well. Great! Good! They're up there. Don't you love the people? Not a very lively bunch though. So do you have any live people? No. Only dead ones. I mean if we had a lot alive people here, it wouldn't be called 'The Wild', would it? The wild? Hold up there a second... a fuzzbucket... You mean like the "living in mud hut, wipe yourself with leaf" type wild? Who wipes? Would you excuse me for a moment? Get me out of here! We gotta get out of here! Alex! Help! What are you doing? I'm swimming back to New York! I know my chances are slim, but I have to try! You can't swim! I said:"My chances are slim"! Nature! It's all over me! Get it off! I can't see! I can't see! I can see! Okay look, there's obviously just been a little mistake. I'm sure the people didn't dump us here on purpose. As soon as they realize what happened, they will come looking for us, right? Yeah, right. You know something? I bet they are already on their way. Chapter 11 2500 MILES SOUTH Well boys, it's gonna be ice cold sushi for breakfast. Rico! Well, since I'm doomed to die on this forsaken island, I, Melman Mankowitz being of sound mind and unsound body have divided my estate equally among the three of you. Oh, sorry Alex. Hey! A latrine. Nice work, Melman. Outdoor plumbing. No, it's not a latrine, it's a grave. You sent Melman to his grave, are you happy? Oh, come on. This is not the end. This is the whole new beginning! This could be the best thing that's ever happened to us! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! This is not the best thing that's ever happened to us! Yeah! You've abused the power of the birthday wish and brought this bad luck on all of us. Why did you tell your wish? You're not supposed to do that! Wait a minute, I didn't want to tell you. Remember? You guys made me tell you. Besides, this isn't bad luck, this is good luck. Look around. There's no fences, no schedules, this place is beautiful! OK! OK! I've had enough of this... This is your side of the island, and this is our side of the island. That is the bad side where you can prance and skip around like a magical pixie horse. And do whatever the hack you wanna do all day long. And this, this is the good side of the island, for those who love New York and care about going home. Come on. No, no. Back, back. Back! You know what, this isn't good. Okay! You all have your side, and I'll have mine. And if you need me, I'll be over here. On the fun side of the island. Having a good old time! This is the fun side! This is the fun side! We're all gonna have a great time surviving until we go home! I love this side! This side is the best! That side stinks! You're on the Jersey side of this cesspool! Well now what do we do? Don't worry Melman I have a plan to get us rescued. Can't wait to see that look on Marty's face when he sees this! Just look at him, he's helpless without us. Shut up, Spalding! I've been standing here for hours man! How long do I have to pose like this? She is finito! I defy any rescue boat within a million miles to miss this baby! When the moment is right, we will ignite the Beacon of the Liberty! And be rescued from this awful nightmare! What do you think? Pretty cool, ha? How's the liberty fire going, Melman? Great! Idiot. I heard that. Why can't we just borrow some of Marty's fire? That's wild fire! We're not using wild fire on Lady Liberty! Now rub, Melman! I've been doing, I can't! I can't! I can't do it! I can't do it! Fire. Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire! No, no! Fire! Jump! Alex, jump! Don't worry, cats always land on their... face? Man, what kind of cat are you? You maniac! You burned it up! Darn you! Darn you all to hack! Can we go to the fun side now? Chapter 12 Everybody calm down! Come on. Into your chairs. Everybody please calm down. You over here and you over there. FASTEN SEAT BELTS Calm down people, okay? Now! Presenting your royal highness, the illustrious.. bla, bla.. you know.. etc. etc. Hurray, let's go. Now everybody! We all have great curiosity about our guests. The New York Giants. Yes, Willy. I like them. I like them, I like them. I liked them first before I even met them I liked them. Yes, yes. You have them compare to how much I like them. Ah shut up, you're so annoying! Now! For as long as you can remember we have been attacked and eaten by the dreaded Foosa. The Foosa! The Foosa are attacking! TO SERVE LEMUR It's a good book! Please, please. Maurice. Shh! Quiet! Come on you all! They ain't attacking us this very instant! So my genious plan is this. We will make the New York Giants our friends. And keep them close. Then with Mr. Alex protecting us, we will be safe and never have to worry about the dreaded Foosa! Ever again! I thought of that! I thought of that! Yes! Me! Hold on, hold on everybody. I'm just thinking now. I mean does anyone wonder why the Foosa was so scared of Mr. Alex? I mean... Maybe we should be scared too! What if Mr. Alex is even worse than the Foosa? I'm telling you that dude just gives me the heebiedabajeebies. Maurice, you did not raise your hand. Therefore your heinous comment will be stricken from the record. Does anyone else have the heebiejeebies? No! Good. So shut up! When the New York Giants wake up, we will make sure, that they wake up in paradise. Now who'd like a cookie? HELP Yo Al... Melman and Gloria are over there having a good time. There's room on the fun side for one more. No thanks. Look, I've been thinking. Maybe if you give this place a chance I don't know. You might even enjoy yourself. Marty, I'm tired. I'm hungry. I just wanna go home. Could you just give it a chance? Think about it. It really isn't the fun side without you. HELL Chapter 13 NO SOLICITING Shh! It's him! Who is it? It's the pizza man. Who the hack do you think it is? Yes? Can I help you? Can I come to the fun side? Beg your pardon? You know, I've been kind of a jerk, Marty. But I've been thinking about what you said and... I'm sorry. Welcome to Casa del Wild! Take a load off! Hey,hey.. wipe your feet. WILD SWEET WILD Alex! Mi casa, is su casa! Very impressive. Hey, have a drink! It's on the house! This is sea water! Oh, you don't swallow it. It's just temporary till the plumbing's done. Hey, you all look hungry. How would you like some of nature's goodness? You have food? The fun side special, coming up! Seaweed on a stick! Seaweed? On a stick! You don't love it till you try it! So good. Well thanks! Does kind of hit the spot, doesn't it? Well maybe it could use a little lemon. No, it's great. It's really great. Doesn't get any better than this. Oh.. But it does! Check this out! Wow! Would you look at that. It's like billions and billions of helicopters. It's a shooting star. Make a wish! Quick! How about a thick juicy steak? You know what Alex? I promise you I'm gonna find you a steak tomorrow that kills you. Thanks, Marty. It's getting late. I guess I'm gonna... I think I'm gonna hit the sack too. Sweet dreams everyone. Alex! What are you doing? ... 27, 28, 29, 30. Thirty. Thirty black and only twenty-nine white. Looks like you're black with white stripes after all. Dilemma solved. Good night. You see Maurice. Mr. Alex was grooming his friend. He's clearly a tender loving thing. How can you have the heebiejeebies for Mr. Alex. Look at him. He's so cute and plushy. I don't think he was grooming him, Julian. Looked more like he was tasting him to me. Suit yourself, no matter. I don't care. Soon we will put my excellent plan to action. All we have to do is wait until they're deep in their sleep. How long is this going to take?! ANTARCTICA Well, this sucks. Chapter 14 Wake up, Mr. Alex. Wake up, Mr. Alex. Rise and shining. Wakey, wakey Mr. Alex! Wake up, Alex! You suck your thumb? What a hack is going on? What is this? Don't be alarm, giant freaks. While you were asleep, we simply took you, to our little corner of heaven. Welcome to Madagascar! Mada-who-ah? What? No, not who-ah... ascar. Marty. It's... It's just like my mural, back at the zoo. Oh,no fellow. That is the real deal right there. Look at that, it's not a bad view. I mean that's the thing that you were always looking at, but it's actually there, that's like the real version of... How about once around the park? Let's get our blood pumping, get those lungs breathing at all this fresh air, who's with me? Ah, no. I really I don't think I can. You're it! Hey! Wanna play around? Got you there! Come here! Hey, stop that! Hey, you're crazy! Okay Marty, I'm it. I'm it! I'm it, you win. Come on, Alex. Get in the groove. I haven't eaten in two days. My blood sugar is real low. I just don't have the energy. I don't think that's your problem. First of all that's not how you run in the wild. Let's go man! Put your rubber to the road! You just have to let up that inner lion! Now, who's the cat? Marty, I really don't... You are! That's who! Come on, here we go! That's it. Now let's build up some steam! You're the cat. Who's the cat? Who's the cat? Who's the cat? Who's the cat? Who's the cat? I'm the cat! Surprise! You're it! You're it! Can't juke the cat. Cat's too quick. I feel like a mile high pastrami on rye, on the fly from the deli in the sky! Let's go wild! Now you're talking! Man, I feel.. hehehe... Great! Marty, Marty, Marty! Like you said baby, it's... Crackalackin'! Ain't that right, Melman! Oh, yeah! Yeah! I'm in heaven! You see, Maurice Alex is now a friend and the Foosas are nowhere to be seen. It could be said that my plan is working in a very good workin' kind of way. Alex, you gotta try some of this! I feel good! I feel like a King again! King? Yeah! You should see his act! Come on Alex, why don't you show him some of your act? No, I really don't think I can... Okay. Ladies and gentlemen, primates of all ages, the wild proudly presents the King! Alex the Lion! E flat, fellows! Yeah! The King is in the house! If he's a King, then where's his crown? I've got the crown. Got the very nice one! And it's still on my head! Look at it. Have I got it on? The roar man, the roar! Wow! I've never heard that one before! Yeah go wild man, come on! Break out the wave! Chapter 15 Excuse me! You're biting my butt! No, I'm not. Yes, you are. Alex, what did you do? He bit me on the butt! No. I didn't. Did I? You kind of did. You just bit me on the butt! What a hack is wrong with you? Why did you bite me? Man, is because you are his dinner? What? Excuse me? That's dumb. Dumb, dumb, Maurice. What is the simple bite on the buttocks among friends? Here.. Give me a nibble.. The party is over, Julian. Your brilliant plan has failed. What are you talking about? Your friend here is what we call a deluxe model hunting and eating machine. And he eats steak. Which is you. Get out of here. Okey dokey, Maurice. I admit it, the plan failed. All is lost! We're all doomed. The Foosas will come back and gobble us with their mouths! Because we are all steak. I'm steak! Me, me, me, me! Mr. Alex cannot stay here. He belongs with his own kind. On the Foosa side of the island. By the power invested in me, by the law of the jungle, bla, bla, bla, bla. Be gone! What? Come on. Do I look like a steak to you? Yeah. See, I told you I don't look like... Wait, wait, what did you say? Oh, yeah! He's going savage. Run for your lives! Marty, run! A bull's eye. Excellent shot, Maurice. Thank you. Marty? I'm so sorry, Marty. What is wrong with me? Oh, no. What have I done? It's true. I'm a monster. I gotta get out of here. Foosa Territory 1 Mile Chapter 16 What have I done? This is a nightmare! It's all my fault. Now because of me we've lost Alex. What are we gonna do? We're gonna find the way to help him, that's what we're gonna do. Come on, we are New Yorkers, right? We're tough. We're gritty. We're adoptable! And we are not going to lay down like a bunch of Melmans! No, we're not. Oh,come.. Gloria! That was not me, okay? That was the boat. The boat! The boat? The boat's come back for us! Come on guys, we gotta flag it down! Here it is! Over here! Come on, give me a lift! Come on, lift me up, lift me up! Help! Help! Help! Over here! My head. My head. Guys. Over here! Over here! You have no idea how much this hurts. Look! It's turning! It's coming back! Yes, this way! Come on, baby! You guys flag down that boat, I'll go get Alex! Hold on then. You cannot go back there by yourself. Come on, I know Alex. When he hears we're rescued, he'll snap right out of it! The people are coming, they can help us. Melman's right. The people will know what to do. Now come on, we gotta flag down that boat. Now this is more like it! You! Oh man... Where are the people? We killed them and ate their livers. Gotcha, didn't I? Just kiddin' doll, the people are fine. They are on the slow lifeboat to China. Hey! I know you two. Where's that psychotic lion.. .. and our monochromatic friend? Marty? He's right... Where did he go? He was right behind us. He went back for Alex, he's gonna get himself killed. Boys, our monochromatic friend is in danger. Looks like we have a job to do. Captain's log: Embarking into hostile environment. Kowalski. We'll need to win the hearts and the minds of the natives. Rico. We'll need special tactical equipment. We're gonna face extreme peril. Private probably won't survive. Alex, come on Alex! The boat's here, we can go home! Alex! Alex. Marty? Snap out of it, Alex. Boat came back. We can get out of here! We can go back to civilisation and everything will be, just like it used to be! Stay back. Please. I'm a monster. Alex, you're no monster. You're my friend. We're a team, you and me, remember? I don't wanna hurt you. Alex, I ain't leaving without you. Alex, I'm thinking of a song. It's a wonderful song. I'm sure you're familiar with it. Start spreading the news. I'm leaving today. We are a great big part of it. Come on, you know the words. Two little words! Please don't make me sing this by myself. You really don't wanna hear me sing this by myself. Alex? Come on here for a minute. Hey Alex, little help. Help me! Alex! Chapter 17 Help me! Anybody help me! Somebody! Melman? That's right, baby. Run! What's the plan? This is the plan! This is the plan? Foosa hold! Foosa ha! Foosa uh! Foosa ha! Come and get it! There's too many of them, Skipper! It's been a real pleasure serving with you, boys. Alex? That's my kill! Mine. Alex hungry. Alex eat. Pss! It's showtime. Thanks for not giving up on me, Marty. Man, you almost gave me a heart attack. You can't just come up here and sneak upon me. We're getting out of here. Guys, just go with me on this. Like I said.. It's showtime. My kill! They're all mine! It's the king of the beasts!Oh no! Please don't eat me Mr. Lion. Fear me! Savagery beyond comprehension! I'm far too young to die! And you! Are you want some of this? You better run for your lives! Somebody call a cop! He's psychotic! This is my territory! Understand? I never ever wanna see you on my turf again! Yeah! You're the cat! I did it! Give me some love! The plan worked! The plan worked! I'm very clever! I'm the one, baby! Come on, time to robot! I am a very clever king. I am supergenious. I am robot king of the monkey thing. So, what's for lunch? Chapter 18 Close those eyes! Why do I have to close my eyes? Do it! They're closed. Tighter! Yes, sir. No peeking! All right, they're closed. Rico. Open that hatch. Fire in the hole! Now chew! Chew like you mean it. Savor it! And? Well? Pretty good, right? There's always plan B. This is better than steak. I love it! I love it! The kitty loves the fishy. May I propose a toast? Now he may be a pain in the butt at times, and trust me, I know. But this cat, proved to me without a doubt, That he's heart is bigger, than his stomach! To Alex! To Alex! Enough!Stupid! Well, what do you guys think? Should we head back to New York? I don't know, Marty. I mean this is your dream. You're sure you wanna leave? I don't care where we are. As long as we're together, it doesn't matter to me. Well, in that case. Yo, Rico! I'll take three hundred orders! To go! Yes, yes. But before you leave, I have an announcement to make. So shut up everyone, please. Thank you. After much deep and profound brain things inside my head, I have decided to thank you for bringing peace to our home. And to make you feel good, I'm gonna give you this lovely parting gift. No, I couldn't. Really I can't take your crown. That's okay, I've got a bigger crown. It's got a gecko on it. Look at him shake! Go, Stevie, go! Chapter 19 Bye, little fuzzbuckets! Thanks for everything! Okay, bye-bye now. Bye-bye! See you later, crocodile. Maurice! My arm is tired. Wave it for me. Faster, you naughty little monkey. You know, by the time we get back to New York, it's gonna be the middle of the winter. So I was just thinking, why rush? Maybe we could make a few side stops along the way? Maybe Paris? You just read my mind! I was thinking, Spain. Run with the bulls. What about Fiji? Cool! Canada, can we? Cheap meds. You know, I wouldn't mind coming back here for a visit sometime. Yeah, I can do that. You can say that again. Skipper, Don't you think we should tell them, that the boat's out of gas? Nah..., just smile and wave boys, smile and wave. Category:Transcripts